


Impenetrable

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Attempt at Indifference, Dreamwalking, Ghosts & Hauntings - Haunted by Ghost of Friend or Loved One, Longing, M/M, Obsessive Love, Self-Hatred, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms - Celibacy as Self-punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 03:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: Darth Vader was a fortress. Nothing could penetrate his mental and emotional defenses....Most of the time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurae/gifts).

Darth Vader clenched and unclenched his fist as he contemplated the failures of his troops in one of the briefing rooms on the fleet's flagship Star Destroyer. The most recent meeting on renegade Jedi, the remnants from the execution of Order 66 had concluded. Darth Vader has ordered his men out while he processed the information.

Nothing. After everything they had—resources, time, clues—not a single trace of Obi-Wan was found throughout the galaxy beyond the little bits they had gathered in the beginning. It had been _two years_ of concentrated searching to find Vader's former master. Significant resources had been allotted to the task.

Yet their hands were empty.

It seemed fruitless. Pointless. Wherever Obi-Wan was, he was doing his best to stay hidden. Just like Yoda. But Yoda was a complete non-factor compared to Obi-Wan.

Perhaps it was time to put the search to rest. Obi-Wan seemed to have exiled himself just as Yoda had. He wouldn't get in the way of anything.

...A deep ache in Darth Vader's heart simply would not let it lay. He _needed_ to know where Obi-Wan was. How he was doing. _What_ he was doing.

His former master would not have settled down. The very _idea_ scandalized Vader. If Obi-Wan were to ever settle down, that would mean he would be willing to disregard his vows as a Jedi. And if he were willing to do that, then Vader could have—

_No_!

The sound of squealing metal snapped him from his spout of anger. To his annoyance, he found that he'd unconsciously crumpled the nearby chairs into misshapen lumps. Losing control of his emotions was still a trace of his impulsive youth, something he was working to eliminate. Soon enough his emotional urges and reactions would be a thing of the past. He would become an invincible fortress, with no one able to sway him.

Darth Vader knocked his fist against the solid table a few times as he let himself mentally hum with satisfaction at his mental training. His skill with the Force was growing partly in thanks to his training with Master Sidious. He was powerful before the Jedi fell. Now he was unstoppable.

That very training was probably how he felt the disturbance in the Force before anything else.

Vader swiftly hopped to his feet and drew his lightsaber at the same time, turning and taking a defensive position at his assailant.

"Hello, Anakin." Obi-Wan stood before him, looking exactly the same as he had when they had their battle on Mustafar. It baffled Darth Vader for a few moments as to _how_ Obi-Wan had not only gotten onto the Star Destroyer but had also made it all the way to the briefing room. He almost immediately shook off the questions as he raised his hand and began to choke Obi-Wan with the Force.

Obi-Wan didn't react beyond a disappointed frown.

Darth Vader lowered his hand, again confused as to why there was nothing happening. How was Obi-Wan resisting him? Why wasn't his attempt to cow his former master working?

He felt Obi-Wan through the Force, trying to discern how he was doing it.

Nothing. There was nothing there beyond the faint presence of _something _with traces of the Force in it.

Vader laughed, a dry, empty thing. "I see now." His lips quirked in amusement under his helmet. "Since when can you Force project, Obi-Wan? Is that what you've been doing all this time? Honing your skills with the Force?"

"Not quite. It's more a hobby at this point." The grin on Obi-Wan's face made Vader's heart flutter.

"Hmph." Darth Vader started to try and trace Obi-Wan back to where he currently was. It didn't feel like he could directly pinpoint him, but all he needed was a grip on his former master. Something to anchor him while they warped to where he was. Trying to buy time while satisfying his curiosity, Vader asked, "Why bother me now? Why are you _here_?"

Darth Vader secretly hoped that it was because Obi-Wan missed him. This time he decided not to shove away his feelings. There was no point in trying to suppress something so infuriatingly dug in as the hope and he simply didn't have the concentration for it.

"I wanted to talk with you." Obi-Wan's plain statement was so basic that it annoyed Vader.

"Trying to assuage the guilt from your betrayal? Or the conspiracy that you were a part of with the Jedi?" Darth Vader could feel the path of Obi-Wan's projection through the Force. He pulled on the thread little by little, hoping to not arouse Obi-Wan's suspicions.

"No. It's because I miss you," Obi-Wan admitted, his smile turning bittersweet.

Darth Vader's jaw dropped and heart soared. Then _rage_ filled him. Fury that rivaled even his feelings on Mustafar gripped him. The mixture of emotions made his stomach churn. He needed to do _something._ Something to express his turmoil.

He reached out with all of his power and _yanked_ the thread that held Obi-Wan's form there, hoping to somehow force him to be there for Darth Vader to fully confront.

Obi-Wan shook and doubled over. A groan escaped his lips as the Force affected him this time. Vader grasped onto the tendrils and kept pulling even as he felt Obi-Wan trying to escape.

He wanted Obi-Wan.

He _needed_ Obi-Wan.

He _loved_ and _hated_ Obi-Wan so much...!

Something snapped—Vader wasn't sure if it was his concentration or if Obi-Wan did it himself—and then Obi-Wan was gone.

Darth Vader's heart was racing yet he was frozen in place. He had felt Obi-Wan's essence, the core of his Force abilities. He had never gotten to before and had almost lost the memory to his flair of emotions. It was…

Suddenly Darth Vader recognized the _urge_ in him. The primal need he hadn't felt in a long time, that he had pushed away ever since his duel with Obi-Wan. His suit was too tight, his pants pressing against him uncomfortably. His hands reached down and began to mess with his belt, needing to—

He ripped his hands away from his pants and growled.

No.

He was not weak.

His emotions were under his control, as was his body.

And, deep down, he felt like he didn't deserve it.


	2. Chapter 2

It was exactly as Master Sidious had foreseen.

Darth Vader, face-to-face with his former master. His former friend. His former everything.

The discussion between them was basic, lacking any of their former emotional connection. It was only natural; it had been a while since the last time Obi-Wan had haunted him. And it was foolish to feel for the old man.

He shrugged off most of Obi-Wan's barbs. His former master could have done a _much_ better job getting under Vader's skin. The only thing that stuck was the idea that Darth Vader was evil. Pure subjective garbage designed to make the Jedi look good and the Sith look bad.

Before he could comment on the self-serving comment, Obi-Wan tensed as if preparing to charge. Darth Vader immediately cut off that attempt by marching forward first to engage his old master in combat.

A few meetings of lightsabers made one thing very obvious: the fight was decidedly lackluster. It was clear that Obi-Wan's age was dragging on him. No more of the admirable speed or power that he'd had as a younger man. Darth Vader, for his part, felt flutterings of regret, pity, and longing for his former master. For the old days of them, together. It made his moves slower with almost no killing intent behind them.

He then squashed the feelings. Frustration flushed through him at the weak emotions. Pathetic. Plain pathetic to have those sorts of thoughts.

It was time to stop playing.

Suddenly Obi-Wan turned, looking into the docking bay. A ragtag bunch of intruders were standing there, one boy in particular gaping at them.

A content smile came to Obi-Wan's face. Peacefully he held his lightsaber perpendicular to the ground, posed for no particular reason. Darth Vader decided to take the chance and struck out with a powerful swing that he doubted Obi-Wan could truly block.

Obi-Wan stood quietly, guard completely down as if waiting for death. The red lightsaber swung through the air in a clean arc. Darth Vader's heart shook as he realized it was the killing blow. It was the end of Obi-Wan.

He was almost simply watching his body as a spectator as his lightsaber struck—

Nothing.

Obi-Wan's clothes fell to the ground in a small pile. It was eerily quiet for a second. Darth Vader was glad his face was hidden by his mask; his face was twisted in anguish, his heart feeling like it was bleeding.

_Obi-Wan_…

...No. He was a traitor. Vader got his emotions back under control with cold, hard logic.

Obi-Wan betrayed him. Betrayed the Empire. His justifications meant nothing. He was an enemy. One that needed put down for the sake of the galaxy.

A yell and the noise of blasters were faint in Darth Vader's perception. All that mattered was Obi-Wan's remains. To solidify his former master's death in his head, he walked over and prodded the robes and clothing with his foot.

Gone. Completely and utterly vanished into nothing.

Was this the almost mythical manner of death he had heard about as a youngling? Vanishing into the force?

...It couldn't be. Obi-Wan was many things, but powerful was not one of them. He simply wouldn't have the ability to accomplish that.

It was then that the yell from the boy that Obi-Wan was protecting registered with him. Vader pushed the matter of Obi-Wan's death aside for the moment to concentrate on the now. The boy was a bit of a mystery. Why did Obi-Wan care so much about him? Was he Obi-Wan's new Padawan?

Darth Vader crushed the streak of insecurity and jealousy that flashed through him as he started walking towards the hanger, focus completely on the boy.

He would get his answers. Any which way he needed. Princess Leia was stubborn, but he was certain this boy was not made of the same stuff.

The boy would break. And Vader would enjoy every second.


	3. Chapter 3

He inhaled a deep breath through his nose. The scent of the flowers that surrounded him put him at ease. Their yellow glow as they shifted through the breeze was a glorious sight to see.

It was a familiar location. A precious location. A location that held a dear place in his heart. He couldn't exactly remember why. It was both unimportant, a vague idea in his head, and something unforgettable.

"It's beautiful."

He looked to his right and smiled. There he was. His master. His partner. The secret little love in his life that he couldn't share.

But why couldn't he? He couldn't remember. It was a haze that was unimportant. All that mattered was them and this place. This place was important, but again he couldn't quite remember why.

Obi-Wan turned his head, a half-smile on his face. "I find your choice of scenery for us interesting."

He laughed. "I disagree. It's the only place fitting for us."

"Ah yes. We were close, weren't we? Dear to each other. Though, I see you feel for me in an unexpected way."

He reached his organic hand up and cradled Obi-Wan's face. His master's neatly trimmed beard scratched at his palm. A pang of want flirted through him at the feeling of touching someone. It felt like it had been a very, very long time since that had happened.

"How could I not have feelings for you?" he tsked. "You're everything I've ever wanted. Something I could never have."

Again, the reason why slipped away.

"I wish you had let me know. We could have figured something out." Sadness was in Obi-Wan's eyes as he said it. "Instead of letting it fall to ruin, we could have built something together."

"No, we couldn't." His answer was as firm as his belief that it was true. Obi-Wan would have never loved him as he loved Obi-Wan.

Proper. That was right. Them loving each other wasn't proper.

Obi-Wan grabbed hold of his hand and pulled it away from his face. His master examined his hand as the older man said, "If you'd said something, we could have at least tried. We still can. It's never too late to turn back. The past doesn't define us. It's our actions, the present, that make us who we are." Obi-Wan sighed, looking at his Padawan. "You can come back to the light side. You can rebuild, start again from the beginning. You can come back to me, Anakin."

...No.

That name. That name was wrong. It was _wrong_. Hearing it from Obi-Wan—

He jumped up from where he sat, scraping for the details that had been out of his reach. Obi-Wan also got up.

Concern was etched on his face as he asked, "Anakin—"

"_No_!" He shook his head. "That isn't my name! _That isn't my name_!"

The ground around them cracked suddenly. The flowers wilted and died as lava burst free, swirling and flowing around the two men. Mountains erupted and the light vanished under heavy clouds of soot.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He was getting older by the second, creases and white hair forming where none had been before. "Yes, I suppose you're right...Darth Vader."

—

Darth Vader shook awake in his recuperative pod. Everything around him burst to life just as he did, the pod opening up and his life support dropping down for him to equip at his leisure.

That didn't matter. He would be fine for the few minutes this would take.

As he expected, Obi-Wan was there, his ethereal form shimmering slightly as he looked at Darth Vader sadly.

"You…" Vader choked out as he stood, "You had _no right_ to invade me like that! Filthy Jedi, only following your rules when it suits you…!"

"I only wanted to see your thoughts, Vader. See what you feel." Obi-Wan did the strange mortal action of rubbing his head as he pressed his eyes closed. "I didn't expect—"

"_Curse_ you!" The Sith clenched his fist. "You, you _meant_ to do that. To try and sway me with my emotions." He snorted, then gasped in a breath of air. "You pretend to be better than the Sith, but we both know better."

"You may believe as you wish."

Darth Vader felt many emotions roiling through him. Frustration, anger, guilt, hate, _love_—

He _hated_ that he loved Obi-Wan. Even now, even after everything between them, Vader still yearned for the days of the two of them together. The two of them, and only the two of them. Before everything became so complicated by politics and rules.

He hated the fact, and he hated himself for not being able to rid himself of that emotion.

"I will always be here for you." Obi-Wan said it so plainly and simply that Darth Vader almost believed him.

"Do you think I am that naive?" Darth Vader mocked. "That I am the simple lad you knew so long ago?"

"On the contrary, Vader. I think you have grown into a lost man. You've lost your way." Obi-Wan reached out an ethereal hand. "All you need do is ask, and I can help you."

Darth Vader looked at Obi-Wan's outstretched hand for a second.

Then, sneering, he tried to push Obi-Wan away with the Force.

The Force ghost shimmered and seemed to feel something, but otherwise nothing happened.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "It isn't yet time, I see."

Smug little…!

Seething, Vader snarled, "Have you finished with your nonsense yet? Your pathetic attempts to sway me will not work. You're wasting yours _and_ my time." He clenched a fist and threatened, "You will leave or I will _make_ you."

Obi-Wan heaved an empty sigh. He nodded and said, "I will be there for you when you're ready to come back to the light."

Then he vanished.

Vader stood on shaky feet, his heavy breathing echoing throughout the room. _Need _pressed him as it hadn't in nearly two decades. Obi-Wan not only knowing now, but _accepting _his affection tickled at emotions that hadn't been moved by anything in a very long time.

To Darth Vader's annoyance, he found his hands were going on automatic and had started to work his underclothes off. For a fraction of a second, he felt weakness at wanting to _feel _again.

He smashed his hands against the edges of his rejuvenation pod. The pain jolted him back to his senses.

Darth Vader was a fortress. Solid and impregnable. It would take more than Obi-Wan not rejecting him to break him down.

He wouldn't break. Not even for Obi-Wan.


End file.
